Answer by Margaret Weiss:
Here's a funny anecdote for you:
A husband is tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep and this does not let his wife fall asleep.
She asks him what's wrong.
He responds, "I owe money to our neighbor, the loan is due tomorrow but I can't pay it".
She picks up the phone and calls their neighbor, "Sorry to bother you so late but my husband can't pay that loan back tomorrow" and hangs up.
Then she turns to her husband, "There, I fixed it. You can go to sleep in peace now, let the neighbor stay awake tossing and turning in his bed"
The moral of the story is that you need to fight fire with fire: let your feelings be known.
You will either get a positive response and your life can become better; or you will get a definitive "No" and you can start the healing process.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.